#Bristol - The Missed Marketing Trick: Dressing Up as Jesus for Recruitment.
The Second Coming of Free Beverages: A Sceptic's Perspective.
Ah, Easter Sunday in Bristol. The air thick with the aroma of suspiciously free instant coffee and the faint, yet persistent, hum of… well, not quite hallelujahs, more like slightly awkward small talk. From my vantage point, nursing a far superior hot chocolate and observing the scene across the road every day, so far this week, I must confess a certain nostalgic bewilderment. Here they are, the earnest foot soldiers of faith, diligently offering lukewarm beverages in the name of a belief system that, if my teenage, Roman Catholic self could see me now, would likely result in a dramatic eye-roll of biblical proportions.
It strikes me as a rather quaint, almost endearingly misguided marketing strategy. Free tea or coffee? In this economy? While the gesture is undoubtedly well-intentioned, it lacks a certain… pizzazz. Where's the spectacle? The razzle-dazzle? If I were orchestrating this divine recruitment drive, I'd have pulled out all the stops. Think method acting Jesus, complete with sandals and a convincingly serene expression, perhaps even a donkey (health and safety regulations permitting, of course). Imagine the photo opportunities! The sheer viral potential! Instead, we have well-meaning but ultimately ordinary folk offering a slightly diluted brew and a whispered promise of eternal salvation. It's a bit like trying to sell a groundbreaking new smartphone by handing out slightly sticky flyers.
And the prayers! Oh, the subtly suggested prayers. The conversational equivalent of a polite cough before the hard sell. "Lovely to see you, enjoy your tea, and perhaps consider a moment of quiet contemplation regarding the infinite mysteries of the universe?" It's all so… understated. Where's the conviction? The fire and brimstone (metaphorically speaking, naturally; we wouldn't want to scare the birds). This gentle, almost apologetic, approach to faith feels rather at odds with the grand pronouncements of scripture.
It does make one ponder, though, that this enduring human need to believe in something beyond the tangible. Why this persistent leaning towards an "invisible man in the sky" rather than the messy, complicated, and ultimately empowering reality of our own agency? Perhaps it's the comfort of a pre-packaged answer, a cosmic safety net in a world that often feels chaotic and unpredictable. Or maybe it's the allure of belonging, the warmth of a community united by a shared narrative, even if that narrative involves miraculous resurrections and talking snakes. Whatever the reason, as I sip my perfectly crafted hot choc and watch the unenthusiastic recipients of free tea shuffle past, I can't help but think they're missing a trick. A really good Jesus impersonator, that's what they need. Now that would get people talking.
