If "Men are From Mars" I'm Probably an Alien.
From John Langley, Bristol author of 4* rated 'The Sexual Philanthropist' - published on Amazon.
This morning, after reading about a woman who identifies as 'Ecosexual' and says she's in a relationship with an oak tree I'm potentially on the verge of finding a nice, quiet spot away from the rest of humanity and living on wild food until I finally expire and disappear into the ground beneath me. Because as each day goes by the sheer volume of cretins in this country alone increases exponentially, to the point where I can no longer keep up.
Then, to further add to my morning I read about an ex-stripper who allegedly kissed Prince Harry and threatens to publish images of him on her Onlyfans site because, wait for it, she was excluded from his memoir, "Spare." Or "Whitewashed from it" in her words. You can always tell when someone isn't doing so well in their own life and in order to elevate themself, make extra cash, or both will seek any opportunity available to hijack someone more successful than they are ever likely to be and tantalise the media with a potential scoop about them. Just another case of desperate times requiring desperate measures in an increasingly desperate world full of desperate people.
I've never been what anyone would consider famous, infamous perhaps, but never famous in the world of celebrity. Yet, I've had my share of petty-mindedness and downright bullshit when I stood as a candidate in the Bristol mayoral election a few years back, and with no evidence whatsoever to back up claims that I was somehow pimping a female out, and other rubbish, a local rag published a wholly unsubstantiated article about me, purely and simply to spike my candidacy. Above all else this served as a salutary reminder that no matter how well you treat someone at that time, it seems to be human nature that scorn will eventually rear its ugly head and target you with the precision of a guided missile.
Not that it's in any way exclusive to females, however, it's more often than not that I hear and read about men having to endure long and arduous civil court proceedings to gain access to their offspring because a former partner is being plain spiteful, by invariably using their child, or children as a weapon, or chip to be bargained with when the relationship has broken down and ownership of the root cause of the problem has been transferred to the ex-partner. Like it's 'all' his fault, of course. Fortunately, I've never been in such an insidious position as that, though I can fully accept what men claim based on simply co-working with some females who have become unpleasant for no logical reason.
It was Einstein who captured this brilliantly when he said -
"Women always worry about the things men forget; Men always worry about the things women remember."
How true is that? I was having a conversation about women/men stuff earlier last week, and the fact that a woman will remember the shade of nail varnish from a decade back, if at the time you just happened to be seemingly chatty with a barmaid, and possibly a little worse for wear. Here's another example of the difference between men and women that may ring a bell. When a woman packs she will probably start a month early make a ton of lists, and stage every part of the process as she goes while remembering to mentally pencil in every possible activity to engage in that keeps her bloke away from the nearest bar. She will also probably remember random items, such as packing a mini tool DIY kit in case she breaks one of her nails while picking up a canape. Otherwise, it's armageddon, and the next flight home for a course of nail bar survival therapy without even considering the fact that she's already in the Philippines where there's a 'technician' on virtually every street corner getting trained before she begins her career in the UK.
Men, meanwhile, five minutes before departure and its job done. Anything forgotten, buy it
when you get there. As for other differences? Well, a man will pay £10 for a £5 item he needs, whereas, a woman will pay £5 for a £10 item because it's on sale. Women will always have the last word in an argument, and anything a man adds after that is the beginning of a new argument. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about their best friends, romances, favourite foods and hangouts, and their medical appointments. Whereas, in my case, I'd be vaguely aware of some short people who share the same accommodation as me.
Mind you, come to think of it, I'm probably not the best example to follow, and why I'm now happy to stay single until I pop my clogs.
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