Is That a Threat, or Are You Just Happy to See Me? (The Nudity Edition)
Gymnophobia. What, never heard of it? You have now! Oh, and it's not a fear of gyms, by the way.
You see, some years back, and to save my sanity in a world I saw as the plot being overwhelmingly lost by the majority, I learned a really important lesson that changed the course of my life through a series of lightbulb moments over the years, and from totally random people of Buddhist belief I momentarily engaged with that turned out to be of meaningful significance on my forward journey.
This repetitive, lifechanging, lightbulb moment spoke of one thing, and that was, and still is, instead of being present and discovering the beauty and fullness of the moment, we seem to spend an inordinate amount of time dwelling in the past (living in its shadow) or worrying about the future. When we live outside of the moment, it's not only time-consuming for our individual energy, but it also creates unnecessary worry and stress.
Worry and stress can trigger a cascade of mental and physical changes. Mentally, we might experience difficulty concentrating, racing thoughts, irritability, and feelings of overwhelm. Physically, stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline can cause our heart rate to increase, muscles to tense, and breathing to become rapid. We might also notice changes in our sleep patterns, appetite, or digestion.
Over time, chronic worry and stress can take a toll on our health. Persistent muscle tension can lead to headaches or back pain, while ongoing sleep disturbances can leave us feeling fatigued and impact our mood. Prolonged stress can also weaken our immune system, making us more susceptible to illness. Additionally, it may contribute to, or worsen conditions like high blood pressure, heart disease, and digestive problems.
Ever since this relatively simple to do, almost thunderstruck moment of reality hit me, and I changed my historically learned thinking and helplessness by reframing how I chose to live my life, what happened a moment ago has become irrelevant, and what happens next, well, hasn't happened: so there's really nothing to consider. If it happens, it will, and if it doesn't happen the likelihood was that it wasn't meant to be for that time. As a consequence, I can honestly say with hand on heart that I have no worries, or concerns, my life has become a metaphorical lake of calmness and serenity, and I am at peace with myself - as much as I can be. Que sera, sera. Or, putting it in terms of modern colloquialism, the less I give a fuck, the better I've found my life becomes; within reason, of course.
As I scrolled through the local news online this morning, I was instantly struck by a headline that read, "Mum left seething as son, 4, catches neighbours in 'mortifying' garden act". Other than mounting one's partner while enjoying the fresh air of the day, or fake strangulation in a momentary action of outdoor BDSM, I couldn't honestly think of anything else that would be described as "mortifying". Well, as it turned out, the neighbouring elderly couple were doing nothing more than enjoying their hot tub, in the buff, of all things, and their neighbour was getting all hot and bothered about it! "Today my youngest son comes running to me shouting that the lady has her boobies out," she fumed while adding - "It isn't a pretty sight." Well, didn't this just cause a frenzy of comments from other readers equally as hot and bothered regarding the hot tub couple!
Even some seven hours later I'm still baffled as to what exactly would have caused such disquiet in the first place. Was the original complainant concerned by the mirroring of what her own breasts may look like as she ages, and didn't like the thought? Maybe, the ageist comment just added to that feeling. Or perhaps even a mix of both? Maybe the sight just stirred up thoughts of her own inadequacy in not being able to breastfeed. Who really knows what was going on within the deeper subconscious of this woman, except her and those inner demons? Because we all have them somewhere in the mind. Don’t we?
I recall some years back the visit by a policewoman who was called by a neighbour objecting to my nude sunbathing on my patio. The second word I used was "OFF," and in no unmistakeable terms as a reply to this neighbour. Now, if I was hung to the point whereby a draft horse was given ‘rise’ to complain (no pun intended) I would understand. But trust me, I'm really not that well endowed, and neither is it gold-plated. In fact, I'm really no different to any other bloke, give or take an inch or two either way - and other than this, we're all born pretty much bog standard. So, what is the problem, other than the unliked, psychological mirroring effect that very few people will ever own up to and generally live their entire lives in denial of? Unless, of course, the need for a bit of mind therapy, you know, pops up?
And, as for the delicate dance of public outrage. The mere suggestion that human beings possess bits designed for procreation is simply beyond the pale. I mean, honestly, who hasn't recoiled in horror at the sight of a naked… elbow? The sheer carnality of it all! It's as if people expect us to be born fully clothed and sterile. And don't even get me started on the existential dread induced by the knowledge that our internal organs might, gasp, have something to do with pleasure. It’s a threat to the very fabric of polite society, I tell you. Why, next thing you know, people will be enjoying things! The horror! The absolute, unmitigated horror! We must, at all costs, protect the public from the scandalous truth of their own anatomy. Think of the children! (And by children, I mean the perpetually offended inner child in all of us.)
Okay, I'll admit that my open-mindedness to nudity is coloured by my very well-publicised activities in the minuscule, and relatively unknown world of 'adult entertainment'. So, having had my very ordinary, naked physique seen by some ten million, goggle-eyed viewers on over two thousand adult content sites around the world, is something I'm well past giving a flying whatsit about, in total honesty. Throughout that career - if you can call it such, take it from me it became glaringly obvious that public outrage usually boils down to people being fine with their bits and bobs doing their actual jobs, but the second they're displayed for any other reason... suddenly it's the end of civilization.
Even to this day, in my own home, the minute I return from being out and about (though not literally within the current context), it's clothes off, and that's me for the remainder of the day and night until the following morning. My female visitors are so used to it by now they don't bat so much as one eyelid when I answer the door bollock naked, and why should they? Unless, of course, something happens to stir in an upward direction (which it rarely does, if ever), and then they have the choice to reconsider their options as to whether to stay or leave.
Do I stress, or worry? Absolutely bloody not!. We should all simply live our lives as freely as we choose, lawfully of course within that moment, and enjoy it before it becomes the last we experience. Because there ain't no 'round two' when it comes to Gymnophobia.
