It's Only 'Stinktion Rebellion' and Other Environ -'mental'- ists in London!
Roll up. Roll up. The Emergency/Crisis Circus Has Come To Town. Well, yet again, I find myself in side-splitting laughter.
Apparently, the birds, bees, hedgerows, and all of nature are under threat. I mean, who knew?
Who knew all of humanity is inhabiting a dying planet? Not me, guv! And, why wasn't I told until now?
It took no less than a reported 50.000 people yesterday, to take to the streets of our great Capital to tell us something we knew already, or should have done had so many of the population not been living under a rock, colourfully decorated in a beautiful orange shade of dye and cornflour that would make Dulux envious, thanks to Stinktion Rebellion.
You see, as much as I hate to point out the bleeding obvious, humanity is facing extinction and has been since the get-go. As indeed so much of life forms on this planet. So, the idea of rebelling against the inevitable would be like standing on one of our lovely, clean beaches and pushing the tide back.
Now, as vague as my memory may be at times, didn't some bloke called Canute try the same thing, and it was a massive fail? Just saying.
It's a measure of humanity’s stupidity that it's only taken a mere 2000, or so years, to catch up with the fact that we are a threat to ourselves. We probably shouldn't have even existed in the first place should the truth be known. However, here we are, and humanity, as a project, has been one long and enduring suicide mission without even for a moment, the penny finally dropping, until recently.
It's like a pregnant female who, after seven months, suddenly realising it was having sex that got her in the club. You couldn't make it up, and if you could it would be a comedy gold channel all on its own. The jokes just write themselves where these people are concerned.
Nonetheless, nothing stopped all and sundry, complete with spare adult nappies for a quick change during the course of the day, turning out in their masses for this attention-seeking crapathon. Like fairytale sleeping beauties, awakened from their lengthy slumber by the kiss of a magical fairy godmother, who promised to wave a magic wand and all was fixed thanks to ample supplies of Immodium being handed out like bottled water along the route of the London Marathon.
Environ'mental'ist Chris Packham was joined by the likes of thespian luvvie Dame Emma Thompson because no panto worth its salts would ever be without a Dame - never mind this one. Every organisation under the sun seemed to be represented in one form, or another. There were those dressed up as animals. None I could see from press images dressed as vegetables - although wearing just normal attire they could have easily been recognised with a sharp eye - and as for the minerals, they clearly missed their train to London.
Much to the possible disappointment of many I'm guessing, the 'Surfers For Sewage' representative fell way short of looking like an absolute turd, though, in contrast, approximately 49,900 other attendees managed to make up for it with no sign of effort at all on their part.
As 'Stinktion Rebellion' supporters stood shoulder to shoulder with those of the National Trust who, just two days before shared the joy of having a national monument decorated in orange dye by fellow 'Stinktion Rebellion' retards, they discovered a commonality that only an event such as this could bring about. That while 'Stinktion Rebellion' is a self-satisfying, total waste of space, National Trust membership suddenly grew exponentially, like it was a stroke of masterminded genius just being there as a recruitment opportunity alone.
Anyway, now that the Israeli/Palestinian mob have been provided with the opportunity to enjoy at least one Saturday off to produce more flags, banners, and placards - to say nothing of giving supporters on either side enough time to recover what few brain cells they have to think of further slogans for their next appearance as the Screaming Me-Me's Roadshow. After all, it's exhausting being a total plank, sorry, I meant protester nowadays, don't you know, when up against the capitalist regime that pays your wages, benefits, and many other things as by-products that enable you to live the comfortable lives you lead that you'd be absolutely screwed in almost every way without?
