Rebranding The #Bristol Greens. Your Input Required.
Make Your Voice Known, And Vote Now.
Okay, Bristol peeps. Now it’s your turn to assist me in rebranding (for the purposes of this and future blogs) our warm and cuddly - if slightly politically deranged, Green Party administration.
You know, harking back to the days of the Monster Raving Loony Party, I identified a similarity between it and, well, some, okay, I lie, nearly everything our Green Party administration, here, in Bristol, have in common. Except, this bunch of witless hoo-ha’s are, believe it or not, actually serious!
So, with this in mind, I seek your help to identify the most appropriate new monicker for the Greens of Bristol. Buckle up; here goes. The plan is to vote on the most appropriate (in your view) rebranded name and mission statement, from which I will endeavour to blog something of an apt manifesto. Got it?
My starter for ten on this first day is an outline of how it will look by example. Okay then, here are the rebranded titles to choose from, followed by how your choice will come together:
"The Monster Raving Green Bristol Banana Republic Council"
Reasoning: This plays on the idea of perceived instability or over-the-top policies. It suggests a council that's perhaps a bit too enthusiastic, leading to "bananas" results. It also hints at a potential overreach of power, a common satirical target.
"The Bristol Monster Raving Eco-Loony Council"
Reasoning: Directly addresses the Green Party's focus on environmentalism, exaggerating it to the point of "loony" extremes. It satirises potential criticisms of being overly zealous in eco-policies.
"The Bristol Monster Raving Windmill Tilting Council"
Reasoning: A classic reference to Don Quixote, suggesting the council is fighting imaginary battles or pursuing unrealistic goals. It satirises potential perceptions of the council being out of touch or pursuing idealistic, impractical projects, with a nod to the green energy policies.
"The Monster Raving Cycle-Lane to Oblivion Council of Bristol"
Reasoning: This targets a very specific and often contentious issue in Bristol: cycle lanes. It exaggerates the perception of them being prioritised to the detriment of other concerns.
EXAMPLE.
The Monster Raving Compost-Heap of Bristol Green Council.
2025 City Manifesto:
"Our Pledge to the People of Bristol: A Slightly Less Rotting Future!"
"Compost-Powered Governance: We will convert all council meetings into composting sessions, turning bureaucratic jargon into nutrient-rich policy. Every resident will receive a personal wormery to process their civic complaints."
"Cycle Lanes to Nowhere, But With Flowers: We will extend all cycle lanes until they reach a point of existential contemplation, then plant a small, native wildflower garden at the end of each. All cyclists will be issued with a small trowel."
"The Great Bristol Snail Race: To combat traffic congestion, we propose a city-wide snail race during rush hour. All cars will be banned during the race period. All participants will be issued with a lettuce leaf."
"Mandatory Moustache Monday: To celebrate Bristol's creative spirit, all residents must wear a fake moustache on Mondays. Failure to comply will result in mandatory attendance at a poetry slam performed by local Greens."
"The Re-Wilding of Roundabouts: All roundabouts will be converted into miniature ecosystems, populated by native hedgehogs and performance art installations. All drivers must yield to any creature performing an interpretative dance" before traffic is permitted to move from its lane.
"Zero Waste, Zero Sense: We aim for a 100% zero-waste city, achieved by banning all packaging and replacing it with, well, something. All citizens must learn to communicate through interpretive dance by 2026."
"The Bristol Floating Garden Initiative: We shall turn all of the harbour water into a giant floating garden so that all citizens can grow vegetables on the water. All citizens will be issued with a small row boat and a watering can."
Ready to go, are you? Excellent. Here are your choices again -
"The Monster Raving Green Bristol Banana Republic Council"
Reasoning: Instability or over-the-top policies. It puts forward the notion of a council that's perhaps a bit too enthusiastic, leading to "bananas" results. It also hints at a potential overreach of power.
"The Bristol Monster Raving Eco-Loony Council"
Reasoning: Directly addresses the Green Party's focus on environmentalism and "loony" extremes. It addresses potential criticisms of being overly zealous in eco-policies.
"The Monster Raving Compost-Heap of Bristol Council"
Reasoning: This is a wonderfully messy and British image. A council bogged down in bureaucratic "compost," where ideas ferment and get muddled. It also addresses Bristol's focus on sustainability, twisting it into a metaphor for administrative chaos.
"The Bristol Monster Raving Windmill Tilting Council"
Reasoning: A classic reference to Don Quixote, suggesting the council is fighting imaginary battles or pursuing unrealistic goals. It highlights potential perceptions of the council being out of touch or pursuing idealistic, impractical projects, with a nod to the green energy policies.
"The Monster Raving Cycle-Lane to Oblivion Council of Bristol"
Reasoning: This targets a very specific and often contentious issue in Bristol: cycle lanes. It outlines the perception of them being prioritised to the detriment of other concerns.
Engage and vote from now by replying to this blog. Yes, it’s THIS easy!
