The Bristol Monster Raving Windmill Tilting - Green Party Council.
Our Vision: A Bristol Beyond the Possible (and Possibly Beyond Reason).
The Quantum Leap of Local Governance.
Mission Statement: To boldly tilt at the windmills of conventional politics, transforming Bristol into a sustainable, equitable, and gloriously eccentric utopia, even if the windmills turn out to be particularly sturdy. We aim to prove that "impossible" is merely a suggestion and that the only limits are those we impose on our own imaginations (and the patience of our constituents).
Manifesto Point 1: Windmill Powered Windmills: We will harness the power of Bristol's prevailing winds by constructing a network of windmills to power...more windmills. This self-sustaining energy loop will achieve 300% renewable energy capacity or thereabouts.
Manifesto Point 2: Urban Re-Wilding: Release the Badgers! We will dismantle 50% of Bristol's roads to create badger sanctuaries and urban meadows, fostering a harmonious coexistence with nature, even if it makes commuting slightly more adventurous.
Manifesto Point 3: Compost-Powered Transport: All public transport will be converted to run on locally sourced compost, reducing carbon emissions and providing a uniquely earthy aroma to the city's streets.
Heading: Radical Equality: Where Everyone Gets a Unicorn (Metaphorically, of Course)
Manifesto Point 4: Universal Basic Art Grant: Every Bristol resident will receive a monthly grant to pursue their artistic passions, ensuring that no creative genius is left undiscovered, even if most of the art involves interpretive dance with recycled plastic.
Manifesto Point 5: The Citizen's Random Policy Generator: To ensure true participatory democracy, we will implement a random policy generator, where citizens submit ideas, and the machine decides which ones become local law. This will guarantee that no one can predict the future, not even us.
Manifesto Point 6: Mandatory Joy Quotas: To combat societal malaise, we will introduce mandatory joy quotas enforced by teams of happiness inspectors. Anyone found exhibiting excessive seriousness will be required to attend a mandatory laughter yoga session.
Heading: The Future of Bristol: Slightly Chaotic, Utterly Unique
Manifesto Point 7: Vertical Urban Farming: Growing Vegetables on Balloons: To maximize urban space, we will develop vertical urban farms suspended from helium balloons, providing fresh produce and an ever-changing skyline.
Manifesto Point 8: The Bristol Time Capsule Initiative: We will bury a giant time capsule containing the most bizarre and wonderful aspects of Bristol 2025 to confuse and delight future generations.
Manifesto Point 9: The Department of Unforeseen Consequences: A new council department will be created to deal with our policies' inevitable and often hilarious unforeseen consequences. Its motto: "We didn't see that coming, but we'll roll with it."
Heading: In Conclusion: Let's Tilt!
We, the Bristol Monster Raving Windmill Tilting - Green Party Council, pledge to pursue these ambitious goals with unwavering enthusiasm and a healthy dose of self-awareness. We may not always succeed, but we will always strive to make Bristol a city that is as wonderfully weird as its inhabitants. Let the tilting commence!
Well, that’s the traditional ‘March Hare’ madness done and dusted. Almost, anyway.
