The Stunning Revelation: Footballs Can Impact Heads.

Coming Soon: Warning Labels for Grass and Goalposts.

The one thing I’ll never be known for is being a genius, and, as I’ve said before on many an occasion, I am qualified in absolutely nothing. I can, however, put two and two together, and on a good day when I’m fully cognisant, make five and five equal seven, or something close to maybe seven, possibly even eight when the sun’s out and the rays are penetrating my skull and charging my brain. But, some things are still well and truly beyond my total comprehension, and football is top of that list. Twenty-two grown men kicking a bag of air around what would otherwise be described as a field numbs my brain, as fully expressed in a previous blog I’ve conveniently placed below this one for your further delight and delectation.

Now, having stated that I’m no genius, even I can just about manage to work out that if I were to hit my head against an object travelling towards me at up to 80 mph, I’d more than likely need an emergency visit to a hospital and a brain scan, in the same way that a car driver involved in a serious road traffic accident while not wearing a seat belt would. Makes sense, yes?"

Okay, second question, and without wishing to generalise, have you ever heard a professional, top-of-their-game footballer speak when being interviewed, say anything whereby they didn’t sound as if they’d just recovered from a full frontal-lobe lobotomy before appearing on television? Well, they don’t tend to sound like the most gifted of linguistic communicators, really, do they? Orally bankrupt to the point of being, you know, of the less-is-more approach to language. Sometimes, significantly less. Maybe they’ve headed the ball that many times that it’s stunted their vocabulary.

All of which provides the perfect segue into the issue of brain damage that’s become a news topic, as of recent. Former professional footballers and their families are taking legal action against football's governing bodies, including the FA, FAW, EFL, and IFAB, alleging decades of negligence regarding concussion dangers. Court documents reveal the claimants assert that the FA was aware of concussion risks as early as 1983 but failed to implement adequate protective measures.

The lawsuit claims these governing bodies had a duty of care to players and that their inaction led to "permanent long-term neurological injuries" for the claimants. Evidence cited includes minutes from a 1983 FA medical committee meeting that recommended concussed players be removed from games, yet the claimants found no proof of subsequent action. Instances of players continuing to play despite head injuries in 1989 were also highlighted, with concerns raised, but seemingly no concrete preventative steps taken.

The claimants argue that recent concussion management regulations from 2021 onwards effectively constitute an "admission of liability" for past failures. Their lawyer emphasises the unprecedented scale of this litigation in global football, predicting more former players will join the suit. He accuses the governing bodies of a "systemic failure" to protect players despite long-standing knowledge of the risks.

While the accused governing bodies acknowledge the ongoing legal proceedings and the importance of player safety, they have largely refrained from specific comments. The EFL, however, urged the claimants' legal team to expedite the process. This landmark case underscores the growing concern over the long-term neurological consequences of head injuries in football and could have significant ramifications for the sport's future safety protocols and legal responsibilities.

Yet again, I repeat myself. If I were to hit my head against an object travelling towards me at up to 80 mph, I’d more than likely need an emergency visit to a hospital and a brain scan, in the same way that a car driver involved in a serious road traffic accident while not wearing a seat belt would. So, what’s not to figure out here? Surely it cannot be anywhere close to rocket science that if you hit your head, and let’s not dismiss the fact that it’s a deliberate act, against what’s basically an upwards to 80mph missile, it’s going to cause damage.

The mental gymnastics involved in willingly heading a rocketing sphere could generously be termed ‘cognitive dissonance’ – that little head-scratching moment when your brain holds two conflicting ideas, like 'I want to be healthy' and 'Whack! There goes another one off the noggin.' This internal kerfuffle creates a certain psychological awkwardness, prompting the brain to find a way out, often by conveniently deciding that repeated cranial trauma isn't that bad. It's the intellectual equivalent of whistling past a graveyard, knowing full well what's lurking beneath.

So, putting aside the blindingly obvious – assuming, for a moment, that obviousness isn't a rare commodity with footballers – and accepting that using their skull as a high-speed projectile buffer isn't a particularly bright idea, why choose a career path with a distinct possibility of turning you into someone who requires assistance remembering their own name? Unless, naturally, the endgame is to bankroll your future around-the-clock care, in which case, one might politely suggest exploring less concussive employment options from the get-go. Though it does rather bolster the argument that perhaps a certain… shall we say… lack of foresight might have been a feature, not a bug, from the beginning.

So, let's explore further this glorious ascent from a simple pastime to a multi-billion-pound industry where grown adults are lauded as heroes for expertly manoeuvering an inflated bladder around a patch of meticulously trimmed grass. We've established the cognitive acrobatics required to ignore the very real possibility of long-term neurological damage, fueled by the siren song of obscene wealth, the intoxicating fumes of celebrity worship, and the relentless demands of a financial behemoth that treats human beings as valuable, yet ultimately disposable, assets.

All this intricate and frankly absurd machinery exists to facilitate the kicking of a spherical bag of air. And yet, despite the dizzying heights of its economic power and cultural significance, when you strip away the cash metrics, the sponsorship deals, and the adoring masses, you're left with the undeniable truth that repeatedly using your skull to redirect this innocuous object remains, from a purely logical standpoint, an utterly baffling and remarkably ill-advised pursuit. The enduring mystery isn't the passion of the fans or the dedication of the players, but rather how such a fundamentally nonsensical activity has managed to ensnare so much of the world's attention and, more alarmingly, its capital.

In the final analysis, one might almost weep for these supposedly oblivious professional athletes, diligently honing the skill of repeatedly striking their heads against a high-speed projectile, all the while remaining utterly clueless about the potential ramifications until some benevolent governing body deigns to enlighten them. It's truly a testament to the remarkable capacity for selective ignorance that individuals can dedicate their careers to such an activity and then, with apparent sincerity, point a finger elsewhere for a revelation that seems about as profound as "water is wet." Perhaps we should also issue warnings about the potential slipperiness of grass and the surprising hardness of goalposts – just to be absolutely sure no one is caught unawares by the blindingly obvious realities of playing football.

https://www.thealmightygob.com/i/157259840/shocking-moment-mob-rampage-through-cardiff-city-centre-before-stay-away-warning