Toxic Masculinity, Tate, and My Very Confused Brain.

From Andrew Tate to "Testosterone Magma," a chaotic dive into gender, sanity, and why I wrote a book.

Did you notice my absence yesterday, no? Neither did I, oddly enough! With so much sludge going on in the world around us, I need one day off for the sake of my sanity, and given all the sludge of the world that drifts my way daily, the more I know it seems the less I know. Therefore I know nothing, as many readers of this blog will, no doubt, concur.

The only thing I do appear to know is English, or, more precisely, the very basics of how to write it, and even this is probably debatable given I can just about manage to put a comma in the right place. You see, when I was at school, I had little, or no interest whatsoever in maths, geography, history, science, languages, and even less of an interest in sport; unless it involved chasing girls. I did, though, enjoy writing, and to this day I’m still learning. So, how I ever managed to publish a book (www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0BXNCHN8P) is between you, me, and the eighth wonder of the world. Nonetheless, there it is, and I’m already writing a follow up.

Now. The reason I mention this (apart from the purpose of unfettered self-gratification) Amazon published book is that it’s affordable to everyone. No, I didn’t mean that at all! What I meant to say was that it delves into all aspects of humanity; who we are, how we relate to one another, and dives into an exploration of the differences between men and women over the decades (apart from those biological bits, that is), despite the, some would say, misleading title. And, if ever there was a perfect means of segueing into this ongoing Andrew Tate debate, this is it!

While not wishing to appear dismissive of the “violent misogyny promoted” by Andrew Tate, that, had in part, “fuelled” Kyle Clifford’s murderous rampage last July, or jumping on that bandwagon in order to promote my published book, I do reflect on how, over the past twenty years, or so, society has mushroomed from basic male and female to something more akin to ‘Heinz 57’ varieties, and the “impact this is having on both men and women,” from my book. Or, again from my book, as “Blur sang…..

“Girls who want boys
Who like boys to be girls
Who do boys like they're girls
Who do girls like they're boys”

To me, at least, the whole subject of gender roles has got everyone confused, and for some, off to the shrink for a few, or more, therapy sessions. Take “toxic masculinity,” for instance, what actually is it?

Okay, here’s a rather simplistic take on it. Imagine, if you will, the human body as a miniature Earth. Testosterone, in this model, isn't just a hormone; it's a molten, subterranean force, like magma. In most well-adjusted individuals, this "testosterone magma" flows smoothly, providing warmth and energy. However, in certain males, due to a rare and unfortunate combination of factors (possibly involving excessive consumption of "bro-tein" shakes and a lack of exposure to gentle breezes), this magma becomes trapped and pressurised.

This pressure, known as "testosterone tectonic stress," builds over time. It seeks release, but without healthy outlets, it erupts in the form of:

• "Aggro-Volcanoes": Uncontrolled outbursts of anger, often directed at perceived slights to their "dominance." These eruptions can manifest as road rage, aggressive mansplaining, or the sudden urge to chop wood with their bare hands.

• "Emotional Fault Lines": The inability to express vulnerability or sadness creates deep, invisible cracks in their emotional landscape. These fault lines can lead to sudden, unpredictable shifts in mood, and a general inability to engage in meaningful emotional connections.

• "Dominance Quakes": A constant need to assert superiority, leading to micro-aggressions, competitive behaviour, and the construction of elaborate "man caves" filled with power tools and sports memorabilia.

• "Stereotype Tsunamis": The overwhelming urge to adhere to outdated and harmful gender roles, creating a tidal wave of expectations that drown out individuality and healthy expression.

The "Cure":

Thankfully, there's a theoretical "cure" for this testosterone tectonic stress:

• "Emotional Venting": Regular, controlled release of emotions through healthy communication and vulnerability.

• "Empathy Excavation": Digging deep to uncover and nurture the capacity for understanding and compassion.

• "Gender Role Re-landscaping": Re-evaluating and dismantling harmful stereotypes to create a more balanced and harmonious emotional terrain.

• "Hobby Diversification": Expanding beyond traditional masculine hobbies to include activities that promote creativity, emotional expression, and collaboration, such as knitting, interpretive dance, or competitive flower arranging.

What’s wrong with that? Surely, it has to be an improvement on what could be the Andrew Tate remake version of Blur’s 2009 hit, if there was to be one?

“Dudes who need bros,

Who need bros to be tools,

Who treat chicks like they're trophies,

Who treat bros like they're fools”

What would happen, if, for instance, Andrew Tate, the self-proclaimed "King of Toxic Masculinity," finally unveiled his revolutionary new line of "Peak Performance" dog food. Designed to unleash the inner alpha in even the most submissive canine, the "Tate Chow" boasting a blend of "dominance-inducing" bison, "submission-suppressing" kale, and "alpha-omega" pheromones extracted from the tears of defeated rivals (allegedly). Early reviews I’m sure, would be mixed, with some owners reporting their previously docile pets exhibiting an alarming tendency to hump furniture and bark incessantly at squirrels. Others, however, may well claim the food has miraculously transformed their timid pups into fearsome guardians, capable of intimidating even the most seasoned post deliverers.

So, here we are, the glorious evolution of the human spirit, or, as some might call it, the Great Gender Glitch of the 21st century. It began, as these things often do, with good intentions. "Let people express themselves!" we cried, releasing a veritable horde of pronoun-laden butterflies into the societal garden. Soon, the garden became a jungle, a riot of self-identified flora and fauna. One could no longer simply ask, "Are you a man or a woman?" without risking a philosophical debate that would make Socrates weep. Instead, one has to navigate a labyrinth of "gender identities," - aka labels, each more nuanced and fleeting than the last. "Are you currently experiencing a fluidic, non-binary, pangender moment, or are we dealing with a demi-flux, agender-adjacent situation?" one might politely inquire, only to receive a withering stare and a lecture on the oppressive nature of questioning.

The result? A world where everyone is a unique, snowflake-shaped existential crisis. Psychological therapies have become the new black, therapists the new rockstars, and the phrase "I'm figuring it out" the new national anthem. Dating apps resembled a digital zoo, with filters for "spirit animals," "preferred pronouns," and "current level of ontological uncertainty." The human race, once a simple binary code, had become a scrambled Rubik's cube, forever twisting and turning, desperately searching for a solution that, alas, was never programmed in the first place.

The phrase "All the world's a stage" comes from William Shakespeare's play "As You Like It," specifically from a monologue spoken by the character Jaques in Act II, Scene VII, and nothing seems more appropriate nowadays to describe us humans in such a succinct way.

You see. Shakespeare's concept, at its core, emphasises that we all play roles. In a hyper-modern context, this "role-playing" can be seen as the ultimate validation of diverse gender identities. If life is a stage, then gender becomes a performance, a chosen role. Therefore, every individual's expression of their gender, and their chosen pronouns, becomes a valid and authentic part of their "performance" on the world's stage. An act, and nothing more.

Furthermore, the sheer proliferation of pronouns could be seen as the ultimate theatrical flourish. The more pronouns, the more elaborate the costume, the more complex the character, the bigger the ego, the greater the drama. Each person is not merely a player, but a playwright, costumer, and director of their own identity, crafting a unique and ever-evolving role for their time on the stage. Thus every pronoun is a valid performance. In the end though, what remains of our rotting carcasses will be nothing more than a skeleton, denoting male, or female. No labels.

‘Girls & Boys’ Songwriters: Damon Albarn / David Alexander De Horne Rowntree / Graham Leslie Coxon / Steven Alexander James.

Girls & Boys lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner Chappell Music, Inc.