Warning! Warning! Today's Musings Come With A Disclaimer.
From John Langley. Bristol based, neurodivergent author of 'The Sexual Philanthropist'. It's 4* rated, you know? Get your copy from Amazon/Kindle now. You won't regret it!
Just to warn you, today's blog post comes with a disclaimer. Regular readers will already scan through my ramblings in full knowledge that I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. Today, however, is different, in as much as I've not had the best night's sleep, and my fingers are typing faster than my brain can keep up with.
Therefore, it is my duty to publish a trigger warning in advance of whatever may follow within the spirit of satire, that I really haven't got so much as a clue today, and furthermore, while every effort possible has been made while in this state of mental whatever to not cause harm in any capacity to any male, or female either living, or now six feet under - in the absence of representation from the World Health Organisation, I hereby disclaim any, and all responsibility for all other life forms that may be harmed hereinafter.
Does that make sense? No, I didn't think it would, and this further confirms I am now out of my mind from the burdens this world presents to me. What a week it's been so far, huh? We've had a budget, and it only seems like a year since the last one! Among other things for our sheer delight and delectation, our beloved Chancellor announced he will resign, didn't he? Damn, I must have misread. He did, though, say to all the elevated commoners in the Commons (and us fools down here in the even lesser commons) that National Insurance will be cut, yippee!
He also announced a 'Vaping Tax' due to the blankets of fog those of us who don't vape on a daily basis, and think it's climate change coming earlier than expected. Good news for smokers though. Thanks to an increase in tobacco tax illegal imports will be doing far better than expected over the next twelve months. Not looking at all good for a great many taxpaying pensioners, as they could end up paying more from April this year and push overall income for some into a higher tax bracket. It's a great shame that for many pensioners retirement isn't an option. It was only a few days ago that I saw an elderly gentleman collecting shopping trolleys from the car park of a major supermarket chain. He must have been pushing eighty.
Moving quickly on, what other exciting things happened, or, non-events headlined by the media because there was sod all else to report this week? Okay, well here's something we don't see very often, a pro-Palestine march in central London. Who'd have thought it? So, as thousands of subconsciously terrorist-supporting, pro-Palestinian demonstrators marched through our glorious capitol city with, one can assume, sponsorship from the Tena company for reasons that should be obvious, one man reportedly shouted, "Yemen, Yemen, do us proud" - while our less than wonderful Met Police just let him carry on regardless, because arresting anyone supporting a proscribed terrorist organisation somehow got missed from their list of things to do.
Anyway, in the absence of such other vital information to the contrary, and without fear or favour, officers then went about arresting the one person out of thousands in attendance who displayed a banner reading "Hamass is terrorist" - while completely disregarding the rest of the crowd who, in fact, were supporting a proscribed terrorist organisation and were not arrested, presumably because it was felt London didn't have sufficient cells to detain them all. So, lowest hanging fruit it was to be then, and Niyak Ghorbani was bundled to the floor by officers, arrested for allegedly 'breaching the peace' - and subsequently dearrested for not.
For now, I'll leave this thought with you. Doesn't it seem odd that while nearly half of burglaries across neighbourhoods in England and Wales remain unsolved; ridiculous people take up valuable police time because their egos have been bruised due to whatever 'hate speech' is interpreted as; and even more ridiculous people who'd march through our streets in protest if the weather turned to snow next week, that the police are morphing into some kind of social service instead of being paid to be on our streets, and in our neighbourhoods doing what each officer signed up to do? Track down and prosecute the 'real' criminals committing knife crimes, street robberies, and worse.
A-men/women/he/she/it/whatever, so as not to appear in any way sexist.