When Feelings Replaced Fact: #London's Protests and 'Palestine Action.'

A masterclass in turning a public right into a public nuisance.

(Image: BBC)

Well, today's satirical blog has fortunately found a sponsor. So, it's with huge thanks that I give praise to the 'Foundation for the Genetically Born Stupid and Emotionally Incontinent,' for their support in enabling me to write this.

So, continuing from yesterday's inadvertent national comedy show, how do I even begin? I know, let's start with London. Here, diverted from such minor matters as rape, violence, robbery, and people having their phones nicked and forwarded to China, the Met Police were tasked with scouring the Capital. Their mission: to follow up reports that multiple 'two short planks' had gone missing, causing serious concern. As it later transpired, they could be found in Parliament Square, clasping placards which read, 'Please Arrest Me For Being A Numpty?' They might just as well have done to all intents and purposes. These 'two short planks' turned out to be 'kidults' of all ages whose common sense had been deposited for assumed safety at various points north, south, east, and west of the capital for the day. A brief change into adult nappies took place before they all headed towards Parliament Square, where they filled said nappies with streams of emotional incontinence in one, mass expulsion.

Why, you may well ask? Well, and hold onto something firm now, it all began with an outfit who named themselves 'Palestine Action.' They rather stupidly took the word 'Action' to the extreme and, in a moment of 'incontinence of the brain,' decided that breaking into a military base with the intent of causing criminal damage was a genius idea. They were lucky they weren't shot on sight, as may well have happened in less tolerant countries.

Why has common sense become a thing of the past? It seems to be a collective amnesia of basic logic, where the loudest, most emotionally charged opinions are given more weight than a sober, well-reasoned argument. This "incontinence of the brain" you're seeing isn't a new phenomenon, but it's certainly reached epidemic proportions. It's as if common sense has been replaced by a more fashionable, albeit less functional, attribute: individualised truth, which has about as much real-world utility as a chocolate teapot. It's an inconvenient truth, a niggling little detail that gets in the way of a good tantrum. After all, why bother with the burden of logic when you can simply wrap yourself in the comforting blanket of outrage? Speaking of which, when did feelings replace fact?

Here, we have a bunch of individuals, some 532, according to the 'Met' website. All of the following information is sourced from the Metropolitan Police arrests at recent protests in London:

Six arrests for assaults on officers. Fortunately none were seriously injured. One arrest for obstructing a constable in the execution of his/her duty. Two for breaching Section 14 Public Order Act conditions. One for a racially aggravated public order offence (Section 5 Public Order Act). The average age of those arrested was 54. A further breakdown of age ranges can be found at the bottom of the page. 263 of those arrested were male, 261 were female and eight either defined themselves as non-binary or did not disclose their gender. We believe that 30 people arrested at the protest on Saturday had been arrested at previous recent protests in support of Palestine Action in London.

All of whom, seemingly and unsurprisingly, lacked the gumption to recognise that being present to support a now 'proscribed' terrorist organisation in the view of law enforcement was a genius idea that would simply be ignored. Their presence made them all guilty by association, as well as giving the impression that they were descended from the genes of Einstein's afterbirth. You know, exactly the kind of behaviour that would embolden other supporters of the same 'proscribed' organisation to engage in other acts of criminal damage, or worse!

So, what will likely come about on the not too distant horizon, thanks to these numpties and so-called 'far right' protesters? New laws and further restrictions on our current 'right to protest' will become even tighter, until such laws and restrictions become so watertight it'll ruin it for those who protest in peace. Genius.

It's a testament to their self-inflicted wounds, really. They're so intent on being heard that they're ensuring no one gets to speak at all. The very freedoms they claim to be defending are being sacrificed on the altar of their own outrage. It’s a spectacular own goal, a masterclass in how to turn a public right into a public nuisance, thereby giving the powers-that-be all the justification they need to roll out the red tape. The only thing they'll be left to protest about is their own lack of foresight, but by then, they'll need a permit to even hold a sign. And that, my friends, is what we call a full-circle numpty-cycle in this brave new world of 'emotional incontinence.'