Your Party: Five Months of Masturbation Disguised as Democracy.
Corbyn and Sultana's new party: 80% no-show, expelled members, co-founder boycott, £800k fight, zero candidates.
KEY TAKEAWAYS:
Expected 13,000 conference delegates, got 2,500 (80% no-show)
Socialist Workers expelled, then un-expelled after the co-founder boycotted
£1.3 million raised, £800,000 fought over between founders
Zero candidates fielded in five months
Conference closed with “Imagine” — Muslim attendees complained on social media
A veritable zoo of contradictory opinions—trans activists and Muslims, liberals and socialists, SWP members and Revolutionary Communists—all gathered in one space. Notice how each one strokes their own ideological ego whilst their core beliefs fundamentally clash. You can see it clearly now: expected 13,000 delegates, got 2,500. Spent day one expelling people for being in the wrong additional parties. The co-founder boycotted in protest. This is political masturbation—everyone getting themselves off over their own righteousness whilst producing nothing coherent, nothing electable, nothing remotely resembling actual politics. And once you recognise this pattern, you’ll see it everywhere.
Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana launched Your Party in July 2025 with a promise that should have made anyone with functioning brain cells suspicious: this would be different. A party for the people. Not captured by establishment interests, not compromised by pragmatism, not contaminated by Starmer’s authoritarian centrism. YOUR party. The clue was in the bloody name.
Five months later: founding conference in Liverpool. Expected 13,000 delegates. Got 2,500. That’s an 80% no-show rate. Think about that for a moment.
For context, Reform UK went from formation to five parliamentary seats in a comparable time. The original SDP hit 30% polling within months. The Brexit Party won European Parliament elections.
Your Party spent those five months fighting over £800,000, expelling members, having the co-founder boycott her own conference, and fielding exactly zero candidates. You already know how this story ends.
The Liverpool Conference Shitshow.
Picture this clearly: Five months building a party branded as inclusive and democratic. £1.3 million raised. Then 80% of the expected delegates didn’t show. You can already feel where this is going.
The 2,500 who attended got treated to a masterclass in cultural incompetence. The conference reportedly closed with John Lennon’s “Imagine”—a song that opens with “Imagine there’s no heaven” and explicitly imagines a world with no religion. At a conference that had attracted Muslim attendees for whom faith isn’t an optional lifestyle choice. Social media erupted with complaints from Muslims within Your Party about the tone-deaf song choice.
Then came the expulsions. And as you watch this unfold, you begin to understand what “democratic socialism” really means in practice. Socialist Workers Party members? Out. Revolutionary Communist Group? Ejected.
The footage says it all: an attendee with a Palestinian flag, confronted for SWP membership. “To come to Liverpool for this conference?”
They travelled to Liverpool—Corbyn’s socialist heartland—to found a new left party. Got expelled for being in... other left parties. Notice the pattern.
Another voice during the vote: “What about unity?”
Zarah Sultana boycotted the entire first day in protest. Let that sink in for a moment. The co-founder refused to attend her own founding conference because they were expelling people for ideological impurity. You already know what this means.
Day two, she returned to apologise for “hiccups” whilst declaring “The expulsions, bans and censorship on conference floor are unacceptable. It’s undemocratic.”
She’d just described her own party’s conference. On day two of its existence. And once you see this contradiction, you can’t unsee it.
The Circular Firing Squad.
This is a party called YOUR Party—explicitly positioning itself as inclusive, belonging to everyone, the democratic socialist alternative to Labour’s sectarianism. Within five months, they’re purging people for being in the Socialist Workers Party. You can see the irony, can’t you?
The conference eventually voted to allow dual memberships. After already expelling people for it. After the co-founder boycotted day one over it. After generating viral footage of the chaos for everyone to mock. Think about that sequence.
So they reversed the decision after doing the damage. Like setting your house on fire then calling the fire brigade. Technically, you fixed it, but you’re still a pyromaniac twat who burned down your own house. And everyone remembers the flames.
This is organisational competence at a level that makes Bristol Green Party look like the Prussian General Staff. Which, if you’ve been paying attention to Bristol politics, tells you everything you need to know.
The Political Orphanage.
I learned about parties like this by being inside one. UKIP, Bristol branch, years ago. And before you judge that, understand this: I was one of the disparate and desperate myself—left school at 15, got my real education on the streets, bouncing between homelessness and survival.
When you’re that lost, when you’re that angry, political movements that promise to smash the system look appealing. You don’t join because you’ve thought through the ideology. You join because you’re angry at the people who’ve fucked you over, and here’s a room full of people who are angry too. It feels like solidarity. It feels like purpose.
That’s how these parties work. They’re orphanages for the politically homeless. Everyone brings their own damage, their own axe to grind, their own vision of what “smashing the system” means. And it works—for a while—because you’re all united by what you hate. You can feel the energy in the room. The shared rage. The conviction that together, you’re building something better.
Then you try to govern. Or even just hold a conference. And suddenly it matters what you’re actually for, not just what you’re against. That’s when the incompatible worldviews start tearing lumps out of each other. That’s when you realise the room full of angry people doesn’t agree on anything except who to hate.
Your Party’s got the lot. And once you recognise the pattern, you see it everywhere: SWP members who want full revolutionary socialism. Muslims whose faith dictates social conservatism that clashes with trans activism. Liberals who want nice capitalism with better manners. Pro-Palestine activists for whom that single issue trumps everything. Corbynites are still mourning 2019. Generic anti-Starmer types who just want someone to shout at.
Trans activists and Muslims in the same room, each stroking their own ideological ego, pretending their beliefs don’t fundamentally contradict each other. Liberals and socialists acting like they want the same thing when one wants to reform capitalism and the other wants to abolish it. You can see the tension building, can’t you?
Do they campaign on Palestine and lose the housing voters? Push economic socialism and alienate the identity politics crowd? Court Muslim voters and face blowback from the secular left? Go full Corbynism and get demolished by 2019’s reality?
They can’t answer. Because answering means choosing. And choosing means someone’s ideology doesn’t get stroked. So instead, they held a conference where they expelled people, un-expelled them, fought over money, had the co-founder boycott, and achieved fuck all. You already knew this would happen.
Five Months of Chaos: The Timeline.
July: Sultana announces the party. Corbyn “frustrated”—he wasn’t expecting it.
September: Sultana launches membership portal. Independent Alliance MPs rebuke it. Legal threats fly. The Guardian reports this split drove 1,400 people to join the Greens in 24 hours.
30 September: Registered with the Electoral Commission. Corbyn is listed as the leader because they don’t recognise co-leadership.
29-30 November: Founding conference. 2,500 showed up instead of 13,000. Day one: expelled SWP members. Sultana boycotted. Day two: apologised for “hiccups,” voted to allow dual membership anyway. Adnan Hussain withdrew support, citing “persistent infighting.”
Current status: One MP (Sultana), three in Independent Alliance, two withdrawn supporters, £1.3 million raised and fought over, no candidates fielded, no elections contested.
The Bristol Green Blueprint for Failure.
What you’re watching with Your Party is exactly what Bristol Greens were like before May 2024. And once you understand the pattern, you’ll see it repeating everywhere. All promise, all principles, all performative righteousness about doing politics differently.
Then Bristol’s Greens got actual power. Within months, they demonstrated they had:
Zero competence for governance (£430,000 spunked on a failed Bottle Yard Studios privatisation)
Incompatible factions pulling in different directions (18 councillors walked out when faced with gender-critical statements)
More interest in performative politics than delivery (promising 1,000 council homes annually whilst flogging 1,222 existing ones)
An allergy to accountability (stonewalling FOI requests despite being under ICO enforcement action)
Your Party is Bristol Greens in their larval stage—before electoral reality forces them to either deliver or be exposed as charlatans operating a political orphanage for the ideologically homeless. You can already see how this ends, can’t you?
The crucial difference? Bristol Greens at least had the balls to actually try governing. Your Party seems content to sit in conference halls expelling socialists and debating democratic structures whilst achieving the square root of fuck all.
They’ve held more votes on who’s allowed to attend than on what they’d actually do if anyone voted for them. Think about what that reveals.
The Corbyn Therapy Group.
Here’s what Your Party actually is, once you see past the rhetoric: Corbyn’s extended grief counselling for 2019, monetised. And the more you watch, the more obvious it becomes.
By never fielding real candidates, he keeps his name relevant without facing rejection, maintains his “principled outsider” brand without testing it, and avoids discovering his politics have zero electoral appeal post-2019. It’s political failure as a lifestyle brand. You can see it clearly now.
Conferences, assemblies, rallies. Packed St George’s Hall in October. Then 80% no-show at November’s founding conference. Even his fan club can’t be arsed when it requires commitment. Notice the pattern.
Meanwhile, Sultana—32 years old, young enough for an actual political future—is wasting it boycotting day one of her own party’s conference and apologising for “hiccups” on day two. That’s not leadership. That’s being the warm-up act for Corbyn’s farewell tour. And deep down, she knows it.
The Predictable Endgame.
Five months in, Your Party has demonstrated exactly what it is. And once you see it clearly, you can’t unsee it: another protest movement destined for the dustbin of British political history, distinguished only by more spectacular incompetence and better documented internal warfare.
They’ve got:
One declared MP (Sultana)
Three Independent Alliance MPs, including Corbyn
Two former supporters who’ve already withdrawn (Hussain and Mohamed)
£1.3 million raised and fought over like dogs over a bone
2,500 conference delegates when they expected 13,000
A collective leadership model was adopted after the co-founder boycotted day one
Zero candidates, zero elections, zero governing experience
Infinite capacity for internal warfare
While they’re debating democratic structures and expelling people for having the wrong additional party memberships, Labour continues dismantling civil liberties, the Greens continue their Bristol shitshow, Reform consolidates their position, and actual politics happens around them. You can see the pattern now.
Your Party isn’t building an alternative. They’re running a political orphanage where every lost cause, every incompatible grievance, every rejected activist can find temporary shelter before the inevitable fracture. It’s political masturbation—everyone stroking their own ideological ego, getting themselves off over their own righteousness, whilst producing nothing.
They closed their October Liverpool rally at St George’s Hall by singing “Bella Ciao”—the Italian resistance anthem. The partisan song about fighting fascism, dying for freedom, about actual bloody sacrifice for political beliefs. Songs about people who fought and bled and died for something bigger than themselves.
Meanwhile, Your Party can’t even maintain unity through a two-day conference without expelling people and having the co-founder boycott. They’re jerking themselves off with revolutionary anthems whilst achieving nothing remotely revolutionary.
The gap between the romanticism of their self-image and the reality of their shambolic incompetence would be tragic if it weren’t so funny. Remember this the next time someone promises you they’ll “do politics differently.” You’ll recognise the pattern immediately. You’ll see them stroking their own ego whilst pretending it’s solidarity. You’ll know how it ends.
But at least the purple lighting looked decent on camera. That’s something, isn’t it?
The Almighty Gob is a blogger covering Bristol City Council and UK political dysfunction at thealmightygob.com. Having learned politics through UKIP membership and street-level experience rather than university seminars, The Almighty Gob brings an anarch’s perspective to holding institutions accountable.