THUNDERBERGS ARE GO! Part Two - The Final Act.
When Reality Meets the Selfie Yacht. *Israeli boarding, Swedish refusal, detention centre comedy, and the planning of S.S. Thunberg II*
It’s all for social media.
Act Six: Day 4 - Sailin’ Selfies
Act Seven: Israeli Navy Intercepts
Act Eight: Israel Press Conference
Act Nine: Sweden’s Response
Act Ten: Greta’s “Detention”
Act Eleven: Thunderberg Island Aftermath
Act Twelve: The Debrief
Act Thirteen: Epilogue
Post-Credits Scene
All the ending material
ACT SIX: DAY 4 - SAILIN’ SELFIES
S.S. THUNBERG DECK
Despite allegedly being under attack by weaponised waterfowl, the crew has set up a full photoshoot. The “HOW DARE YOU” pennant is prominently featured
GRETA: Everyone! Selfie time! Keffiyehs visible! Palestinian flag in the background! And GET THE PENNANT IN THE SHOT! The “HOW DARE YOU” pennant MUST be visible!
DAVOS: We’re supposedly in mortal danger from Mossad seagulls and you want PICTURES of a flag you made in your garage?
GRETA: I made it in a WAREHOUSE, thank you very much! And activism without documentation is just... doing things! Where’s the ENGAGEMENT?
DAVOS: We’re at sea. There’s plenty of engagement. WITH THE SEA.
RIMA: [jumping into frame, pointing at pennant] Get my good side! And the pennant! The “HOW DARE YOU” pennant exposes Zionist narratives!
OMAR: [also photobombing] Caption must mention the peace pennant AND compare something to the Holocaust!
DAVOS: CAN WE NOT COMPARE THINGS TO THE HOLOCAUST FOR FIVE MINUTES?!
OMAR: Fine. The Nakba then.
DAVOS: [muttering] Close enough for government work...
YASEMIN: [trying to get in shot] THE WHITE PEOPLE ARE BLOCKING THE PENNANT VIEW!
DAVOS: I’M LITERALLY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE SHIP!
YASEMIN: YOUR WHITE AURA IS BLOCKING IT!
YANIS: [typing] “’Brave Thunderbergs risk death for selfie solidarity! Ship flies historic HOW DARE YOU international peace pennant!’ Hashtag... wait, should I mention the seagulls?”
GRETA: NO! The seagulls undermine the narrative!
THIAGO: But the beloved leader always faced his enemies openly! We should mention the seagull attack! Very honouring, very brave!
GRETA: The seagulls. Were. Not. Real. Enemies.
RIMA: They were Israeli seagulls!
DR. BAPTISTE: [treating his own stress headache] They were SEAGULLS! Just SEAGULLS! REGULAR MEDITERRANEAN SEAGULLS!
YASEMIN: DOCTOR IS IN DENIAL ABOUT MOSSAD BIRDS!
GRETA: Perfect! Now, everyone hold your keffiyehs AND point at the pennant! This is BRANDING!
THIAGO: [posing dramatically with pennant] The beloved leader would have LOVED this aesthetic! And this lighting! Very honouring lighting!
MARCO: [with professional lighting equipment] Tilt towards the oppression! And make sure the LED lights on the pennant are visible!
SERGIO: “¡Más keffiyeh! ¡Más ‘How Dare You’!”
JEFF THUNDERBERG: [via radio, exhausted] Are you... are you doing a PHOTOSHOOT during a mission?
GRETA: DOCUMENTING, base! This is JOURNALISM!
DAVOS: We’ve taken 47 photos in the last 10 minutes.
BRAINS: A-a-actually, our satellites show 1,847 selfies since departure. 1,623 of them f-f-feature the pennant.
GRETA: And EACH ONE is a blow against oppression! The “HOW DARE YOU” pennant DEMANDS to be seen! It’s literally in the name!
MIGRANT #1: [to Migrant #2] Are they going to help us or just keep taking pictures?
MIGRANT #2: The pictures ARE the help. The pictures are... everything.
MIGRANTS: [posing reluctantly in another selfie]
DAVOS: [also forced into shot] I just wanted to do Shakespeare. Maybe a nice period drama. How did I end up on a selfie yacht arguing about seagulls?
ACT SEVEN: DAY 5 - THE ISRAELI NAVY SAYS “HOW DARE YOU“
MEDITERRANEAN SEA - APPROACHING GAZA RESTRICTED ZONE
Three Israeli naval vessels surround the S.S. Thunberg
ISRAELI COMMANDER: [via loudspeaker] This is the Israeli Navy. You are approaching a restricted zone. Prepare to be boarded.
GRETA: MAYDAY! MAYDAY! BASE, WE’RE BEING KIDNAPPED!
JEFF THUNDERBERG: Greta, they literally told you—
GRETA: UNLAWFUL BOARDING! WE HAVE LIFE-SAVING CARGO! WE FLY THE INTERNATIONAL PEACE PENNANT!
ISRAELI COMMANDER: Ma’am, what peace pennant?
GRETA: [pointing upward dramatically] THE “HOW DARE YOU” INTERNATIONAL PEACE PENNANT!
ISRAELI COMMANDER: [long pause] ...That’s not a thing.
GRETA: IT’S RECOGNISED BY—
ISRAELI COMMANDER: By whom?
GRETA: [checking phone] INSTAGRAM!
ISRAELI COMMANDER: [sighs] Prepare for boarding.
RIMA: KIDNAPPING! JUST LIKE THEY KIDNAPPED THOSE HOSTAGES! THIS IS THEIR SIGNATURE MOVE!
DAVOS: That’s literally the OPPOSITE of how—
OMAR: [filming everything] THE NAZIS ARE HERE! 1940 ALL OVER AGAIN!
ISRAELI SOLDIER: [via radio to command] Sir, they’re comparing us to Nazis again.
ISRAELI COMMANDER: Of course they are. Just board the vessel.
YASEMIN: [screeching at naval vessels] YOU’RE TOO WHITE TO BOARD US!
ISRAELI SOLDIER #2: [via radio] Sir, several of our boarding team are Mizrahi and Ethiopian.
ISRAELI COMMANDER: Just... get on the boat.
ISRAELI BOARDING TEAM: [climbing aboard, very professional, very tired]
ISRAELI SOLDIER #1: [checking manifest] Forty-seven tonnes of... quinoa?
GRETA: LIFE-SAVING AID!
ISRAELI SOLDIER #2: [holding up containers] The “baby formula” is... oat milk? THIRTEEN cases of oat milk?
GRETA: For BABIES!
ISRAELI SOLDIER #2: It says “Greta’s Dietary Requirements” on the label.
GRETA: VEGAN BABIES!
ISRAELI SOLDIER #3: [reading labels] The “medical supplies” are healing crystals, essential oils, and a book called... “Chakra Alignment for Conflict Zones”?
THIAGO: SPIRITUAL MEDICAL SUPPLIES! The beloved leader believed in holistic healing! Very honouring!
ISRAELI SOLDIER #4: Ma’am, people in Gaza need food, water, and medical supplies. Not... [holding up crystal] ...rose quartz for good vibes.
GRETA: THAT’S AMETHYST! Get your crystals right!
RIMA: You’re STEALING our humanitarian aid! This is THEFT!
ISRAELI SOLDIER #5: We’re not stealing anything, ma’am. We’re cataloguing violations of—
RIMA: KIDNAPPING AND THEFT! Israeli specialities!
ISRAELI COMMANDER: [boarding the vessel] You named this the S.S. Thunberg? And you’re flying a giant DIY flag that says “HOW DARE YOU”?
GRETA: The “HOW DARE YOU” pennant is an INTERNATIONAL SYMBOL OF PEACE!
ISRAELI SOLDIER #6: Ma’am, I radioed the International Maritime Organisation. They’ve never heard of it.
GRETA: Well they SHOULD have!
ISRAELI SOLDIER #6: I also called NATO.
GRETA: AND?!
ISRAELI SOLDIER #6: They laughed. For like, two minutes straight.
OMAR: This mockery is EXACTLY what the Nazis did!
ISRAELI COMMANDER: [rubbing temples] Okay, here’s what’s going to happen. We’re cataloguing this... [gestures at ship] ...whatever this is. Then we’re deporting all of you.
GRETA: HOW DARE—
ISRAELI COMMANDER: We counted 1,847 selfies. 1,623 featuring your homemade flag. You have more camera equipment than medical supplies. You brought QUINOA to a humanitarian crisis. This is the textbook definition of a selfie yacht.
DAVOS: [to Israeli soldiers] Can I just say, on behalf of Ireland and anyone with sense, we’re very sorry about this.
ISRAELI SOLDIER #7: You’re the actor, right? From Game of Thrones?
DAVOS: [desperately] YES! I’M AN ACTOR! I’M LIAM CUNNINGHAM! Please, someone verify this! Check IMDB! CONFIRM I’M REAL!
ISRAELI SOLDIER #7: Sir, you’re definitely real. Why are you here?
DAVOS: I GENUINELY DON’T KNOW ANYMORE!
RIMA: You’re SEIZING our peace pennant! WAR CRIME!
ISRAELI COMMANDER: We’re not taking your flag, ma’am. You can keep it.
RIMA: THEN WHY DID YOU MENTION IT?!
ISRAELI COMMANDER: Because it’s... very large. And confusing. And we had to radio command to ask what it meant. They had to call several departments. Nobody knew.
GRETA: Because it’s TOO ADVANCED for your understanding!
ISRAELI SOLDIER #8: Ma’am, it’s fabric with words on it.
THIAGO: [tearing up] The beloved leader would never have surrendered! He would have been very honouring, very defiant!
ISRAELI SOLDIER #9: Sir, the “beloved leader” is deceased.
THIAGO: I KNOW! I was at his funeral! Very honouring, very happy to attend!
ISRAELI SOLDIER #9: [to colleague] What is wrong with these people?
ISRAELI SOLDIER #10: I don’t know, but I need them off this boat before I question my entire career.
DAVOS: [being escorted off, desperately] PLEASE, SOMEONE! Am I Liam Cunningham or Davos Seaworth?! Does ANYONE have my IMDB page?! I’VE FORGOTTEN WHO I AM!
YASEMIN: [screeching as she’s escorted] THIS IS WHITE SUPREMACY!
ISRAELI SOLDIER #11: [Ethiopian] Ma’am, I’m literally Black.
YASEMIN: INTERNALISED WHITENESS!
DR. BAPTISTE: [calmly walking off] Thank God. Thank God this is over. I have patients. Real patients. With real medical needs.
MIGRANTS: [rushing off the boat] FREEDOM! EUROPE! GERMANY! ANYWHERE BUT HERE!
ACT EIGHT: ISRAEL HOLDS A PRESS CONFERENCE
IDF HEADQUARTERS - PRESS ROOM
IDF SPOKESPERSON: [at podium, barely suppressing a smirk] “This was a publicity stunt. We’re calling the S.S. Thunberg what it is: a selfie yacht.”
REPORTER #1: Can you elaborate?
SPOKESPERSON: Our naval forces boarded the vessel and found: 47 tonnes of quinoa, oat milk labelled as baby formula, healing crystals marked as medical supplies, and more camera equipment than a film studio. The crew took approximately 1,847 selfies during the voyage, 1,623 of which featured their homemade flag. We counted.
REPORTER #2: The “HOW DARE YOU” pennant?
SPOKESPERSON: Yes, the pennant they claim is an “international peace symbol.” We checked with every maritime authority on Earth. The International Maritime Organisation has never heard of it. NATO laughed at us when we asked. The UN said, “What?” It’s just... something they made. It has 847,000 Instagram hashtags but zero official recognition.
REPORTER #3: What about their claims of being kidnapped?
SPOKESPERSON: [long sigh] They violated a naval blockade. We processed them. We deported them with all their belongings, including the flag. They kept their keffiyehs and their Instagram accounts. If that’s kidnapping, we’re remarkably bad at it.
REPORTER #4: Any final thoughts?
SPOKESPERSON: The S.S. Thunberg is a selfie yacht engaged in a publicity stunt. Next question.
REPORTER #5: What about the actor? Liam Cunningham?
SPOKESPERSON: [checking notes] He repeatedly asked us to verify his identity via IMDB. We did. He is indeed an actor. He seems very confused about whether he’s real.
REPORTER #6: Is he real?
SPOKESPERSON: According to IMDB, yes.
ACT NINE: SWEDEN SAYS “WE TOLD YOU NOT TO GO”
SWEDISH FOREIGN MINISTRY PRESS CONFERENCE
FOREIGN MINISTER: [looking like he aged 10 years overnight] “Sweden has advised against travel to Gaza for a decade. A decade. We’ve been very clear about this.”
REPORTER: Will you provide consular support?
FOREIGN MINISTER: “Consular support is for citizens in danger. Miss Thunberg is currently in a waiting room with complimentary biscuits, espresso, WiFi, and a view of Stockholm harbour. She’s not in danger. She’s in what we call ‘administrative processing with pastries.’”
REPORTER: But she says she’s being held—
FOREIGN MINISTER: “She CAN LEAVE. The door is UNLOCKED. We’ve TOLD HER this SIX TIMES. She won’t leave. She’s making CONTENT.”
REPORTER: So no help?
FOREIGN MINISTER: “Here are the facts: Swedish citizens who ignore decade-old travel warnings and sail into naval blockades are, as we say, ‘taking matters into their own hands.’ Those hands are now full of paperwork. And quinoa. So much quinoa. Where did they even GET that much quinoa?”
REPORTER: What’s your message to activists planning similar missions?
FOREIGN MINISTER: “READ. THE. ADVISORIES. They’re on our website. With graphics. Very clear graphics. We even made them in Swedish, English, and Arabic. We put warnings on social media. We sent emails. We held press conferences. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM US?”
REPORTER: But Greta claims—
FOREIGN MINISTER: “Greta claims many things. The Swedish government claims that we explicitly told her not to do this. For ten years. From whose fjord she launched. We’re not helping. Meeting adjourned.”
Foreign Minister walks out
REPORTER: [shouting after him] What about the “HOW DARE YOU” pennant?!
FOREIGN MINISTER: [turning back] IT’S NOT REAL! [leaves]
ACT TEN: GRETA’S “DETENTION” - THE ROOM WITH UNLOCKED DOORS
STOCKHOLM - ADMINISTRATIVE PROCESSING CENTRE
Greta films what can only be described as hostage cosplay
GRETA: [to camera, keffiyeh artfully arranged, perfect lighting] “I urge all my friends, family, and comrades to put pressure on the Swedish government to RELEASE me and the others as soon as possible!”
SWEDISH GUARD: [off-camera, exhausted] “Miss Thunberg, you’re free to leave anytime. The door is unlocked. We’ve told you this six times.”
GRETA: [ignoring him] “We are being HELD AGAINST OUR WILL for the CRIME of CARING!”
GUARD: “You’re in a waiting room. With WiFi. And complimentary Swedish biscuits.”
GRETA: “IMPRISONED!”
GUARD: “The coffee is free. There’s a flat-screen TV. You have your phone. You’ve posted 47 times today.”
GRETA: “CAPTIVE!”
GUARD: “The door is RIGHT THERE. It’s OPEN. You can SEE outside!”
GRETA: [to camera] “They try to GASLIGHT us into thinking we’re free!”
GUARD: “Because you ARE free! Just WALK OUT!”
DAVOS: [in corner, staring at his hands] “Is this detention? In Game of Thrones, I was imprisoned in actual dungeons. This has an ESPRESSO MACHINE. And BISCUITS. Really good biscuits, actually.”
RIMA: “Sweden is COMPLICIT with Israel! They’re working TOGETHER to silence us!”
GUARD: “We literally told you not to go. For ten years. It’s on our website.”
RIMA: “Your WEBSITE is propaganda!”
GUARD: “It’s travel advisories! With maps! And warnings!”
OMAR: [tweeting] “Swedish detention centres like Nazi camps! Comfortable chairs are PSYCHOLOGICAL TORTURE!”
GUARD: “SIR, YOU HAVE A LATTE! With OAT MILK! Because you ASKED for it!”
OMAR: “FORCED REFRESHMENTS!”
YASEMIN: [screeching at vending machine] “THIS MACHINE ONLY HAS WHITE PEOPLE SNACKS!”
GUARD: “There’s literally falafel, kebab crisps, and Turkish delight in there!”
YASEMIN: “TOKENISM! ONE ROW OF DIVERSE SNACKS!”
GUARD: “It’s a VENDING MACHINE! We don’t control global snack distribution!”
THIAGO: [to other activists] “The beloved leader was imprisoned many times! He would have been very honouring, very happy to be detained with such nice amenities! And these biscuits! Very honouring biscuits!”
DR. BAPTISTE: “Can I PLEASE just leave? I have actual patients! People who need REAL medicine, not crystals!”
GUARD: “YES! THE DOOR IS OPEN! YOU CAN ALL LEAVE!”
GRETA: [grabbing Baptiste] “Don’t abandon the STRUGGLE!”
BAPTISTE: “The struggle FAILED! We got deported! With quinoa! And a fake flag! Can we PLEASE accept reality?!”
GRETA: “REALITY IS A CONSTRUCT! Like maritime law and Swedish travel advisories!”
BAPTISTE: [breaking free] “I’m a DOCTOR! Reality is PATIENTS! With SYMPTOMS! That needs TREATMENT! Not CRYSTALS and VIBES!”
GRETA: “You’ve been COMPROMISED by the system!”
BAPTISTE: “I’ve been EDUCATED by MEDICAL SCHOOL! There’s a DIFFERENCE!” [walks towards the door]
GUARD: “Finally! Someone with sense!”
GRETA: “BAPTISTE HAS ABANDONED US!”
BAPTISTE: [at doorway] “The door was UNLOCKED THE ENTIRE TIME!” [leaves]
REMAINING CREW: [staring at the open door]
DAVOS: “So... we could have just... left?”
GUARD: “YES! That’s what I’ve been SAYING!”
DAVOS: [standing up] “Well then. I’m off. To find out if I’m real. And possibly get therapy.”
GUARD: “Godspeed, Mr Cunningham.”
DAVOS: [pausing] “You called me Cunningham. Not Seaworth.”
GUARD: “You’re an actor, sir. Liam Cunningham.”
DAVOS: [tearing up] “I’m... I’m real?”
GUARD: “Very real, sir.”
DAVOS: “IMDB?”
GUARD: [showing phone] “Right here, sir. Full filmography.”
DAVOS: [sobbing] “I’M REAL! I’M LIAM CUNNINGHAM! I’M AN ACTOR!” [runs out the door]
GRETA: “He’s been BROKEN by the system!”
GUARD: “He remembered who he was.”
GRETA: [back to filming] “One by one, they try to break us...”
GUARD: [to colleague] “I miss when protesters just chained themselves to trees. This is somehow worse.”
GUARD #2: “At least tree protesters stay outside.”
GUARD #1: “And they don’t claim our break room is a gulag.”
ACT ELEVEN: THUNDERBERG ISLAND - THE AFTERMATH
CONTROL ROOM - DEEP IN THE SWEDISH FJORD
JEFF THUNDERBERG: [head in hands, looking out at the grey fjord waters] How did this happen? We launched from a peaceful Swedish fjord with good intentions...
BRAINS: W-w-well, sir, they ignored the naval blockade, violated international maritime law, brought quinoa instead of actual aid, took 1,847 selfies, claimed seagulls were Israeli drones, and f-f-flew a homemade flag claiming it was an international symbol. All after sailing 2,000 miles from Sweden.
JEFF THUNDERBERG: And the Israeli response?
BRAINS: They’re c-c-calling it a “selfie yacht,” sir.
JEFF THUNDERBERG: [long pause, staring at the fjord] They’re not wrong. We built this base in a Swedish fjord to help people. And it became... this.
BRAINS: Should we d-d-disband International Activist Rescue, sir?
JEFF THUNDERBERG: [sighing] What’s the point? Greta will just form “International Activist Rescue 2: Electric Boogaloo” and launch from someone else’s fjord.
BRAINS: The Norwegian fjords are lovely this time of year, sir.
JEFF THUNDERBERG: Don’t give her ideas.
ACT TWELVE: THE DEBRIEF (THAT GOES NOWHERE)
THUNDERBERG ISLAND - VIA VIDEO LINK
JEFF THUNDERBERG: [to crew via video conference] So. Mission assessment?
GRETA: We raised AWARENESS!
JEFF: Of what, specifically?
GRETA: Of... Israeli aggression! And... oppression!
DAVOS: And that seagulls exist. Can’t forget the seagulls.
RIMA: Israel kidnapped us!
JEFF: They deported you. There’s a difference.
OMAR: Same thing! Nazi tactics!
JEFF: [rubbing temples] Brains, mission evaluation?
BRAINS: C-c-complete failure, sir. No aid delivered. Naval blockade violated. International incident created. Dubbed “selfie yacht” by Israeli military. Swedish government embarrassed. Two migrants traumatised. And the “HOW DARE YOU” pennant is not recognised by any m-m-maritime authority anywhere.
YASEMIN: [screeching] THIS EVALUATION IS TOO WHITE! AND IT DISRESPECTS OUR PEACE PENNANT!
BRAINS: I’m j-j-just reporting facts, ma’am.
THIAGO: But the beloved leader would have recognised our pennant—
JEFF: The beloved leader is DEAD, Thiago!
THIAGO: I was very honouring, very happy at his—
JEFF: I KNOW! STOP SAYING THAT!
GRETA: So... mission success? The “HOW DARE YOU” pennant got amazing engagement!
JEFF: [long pause] No, Greta. Mission failure. Complete. Total. Absolute failure. And your flag isn’t real.
GRETA: The PENNANT is real! You can SEE it! It’s RIGHT THERE! [holds it up]
JEFF: It’s fabric with words on it. That you made. In your garage.
GRETA: WAREHOUSE!
JEFF: I DON’T CARE WHERE YOU MADE IT! It’s not recognised by anyone!
GRETA: It represents PEACE!
JEFF: It represents... [sighs] ...delusion. International Activist Rescue is hereby disbanded. The S.S. Thunberg is impounded. And someone take down that ridiculous pennant.
GRETA: WHAT?! You can’t disband us! And you DEFINITELY can’t take down the “HOW DARE YOU” pennant! It’s an international symbol!
JEFF: It’s not.
GRETA: It IS!
JEFF: Greta. We checked. With everyone. NATO laughed at us. The IMO said, “What?” The UN hung up. Instagram is not a maritime authority.
GRETA: Instagram has MORE followers than NATO!
JEFF: [head in hands] That’s not how international law works.
GRETA: This isn’t over! We’ll regroup! We’ll sail from the fjord again! WITH THE PENNANT! The S.S. Thunberg II will fly an even BIGGER “HOW DARE YOU” flag!
JEFF: No. No more sailing from our Swedish fjord. No more missions. No more... [gestures at screen] ...THIS. And definitely no more homemade flags claiming to be international symbols.
BRAINS: W-w-wise decision, sir.
GRETA: You can’t stop us! The MOVEMENT is bigger than you!
JEFF: The movement ended when you got called a selfie yacht and Sweden refused to help!
RIMA: This is ALL Israel’s fault!
JEFF: Israel followed maritime law. YOU didn’t!
OMAR: Maritime law is a Nazi construct!
JEFF: [standing up] Maritime law predates the Nazis by CENTURIES! It predates MOST MODERN STATES! It’s older than YOUR COUNTRY!
OMAR: [pausing] ...Which country?
JEFF: ANY OF THEM! MARITIME LAW IS OLD!
YASEMIN: OLD WHITE LAW!
JEFF: THE PHOENICIANS WEREN’T WHITE!
ENTIRE CREW: [silence]
JEFF: Meeting. Adjourned. Forever. [disconnects]
BRAINS: Should I r-r-really disband International Activist Rescue, sir?
JEFF: [staring at fjord] Yes. Shut it down. Board up the fjord entrance. Fill the control room with concrete. Burn the “HOW DARE YOU” pennant. Scatter the ashes. Let nothing remain.
BRAINS: What about the S.S. Thunberg, sir?
JEFF: Sell it. To fishermen. Real ones. Who understand maritime law.
BRAINS: And if M-m-miss Greta tries to launch another mission?
JEFF: She’s Sweden’s problem now. Not mine.
ACT THIRTEEN: ONE WEEK LATER - EPILOGUE
GRETA’S INSTAGRAM - LIVE FROM UNKNOWN LOCATION
Photo of Greta standing in front of an even LARGER “HOW DARE YOU” pennant with LED lights
CAPTION: “Despite attempts to SILENCE International Activist Rescue, we rise STRONGER!
The S.S. Thunberg II is already in planning!
They called us a ‘selfie yacht’, but they can never sink our SPIRIT! (Or our Instagram engagement! 847K likes! Thank you!)
They said our ‘HOW DARE YOU’ international peace pennant isn’t ‘recognised’ by ‘maritime authorities’, but WE recognise it! The PEOPLE recognise it!
The new S.S. Thunberg II will fly an even BIGGER pennant! 50 feet long! With LED lights! RGB backlighting! QR code linking to our Patreon! PEACE WILL NOT BE SILENCED!
PS - Jeff Thunderberg tried to shut us down but you can’t shut down a MOVEMENT! We’re launching from a NEW fjord! (Norway is very welcoming)
#ThunderbergsWillReturn #SelfieYachtAndProud #HowDareYou #InternationalPeaceSymbol #NotRecognisedButValid #NewFjordWhoDis #DavosFoundHimself #QuinoaWasSymbolic”
COMMENTS:
@maritime_expert: “That’s still not a real maritime flag and Norway also has Gaza travel advisories” [Comment deleted by moderator]
@swedish_govt: “Miss Thunberg, we can see this post. We have informed Norway.”
@norway_govt: “We’ve seen it. Our fjords are closed to selfie yachts.”
@davos_irl: “I’m real! I’m Liam Cunningham! I’m in therapy! Please stop tagging me!”
@israel_navy: “See you next time 👋”
@thiago_avila: “The beloved leader would be very honouring, very happy about S.S. Thunberg II!”
@yasemin_acar: “Norwegian fjords are probably WHITE SUPREMACIST anyway”
@rima_hassan: “Norway’s refusal is clearly orchestrated by Israel”
@omar_faiad: “Norwegian fjord policy is literally the Holocaust”
@dr_baptiste: “I have left the group chat. I am seeing real patients. Please stop contacting me.”
POST-CREDITS SCENE
THUNDERBERG ISLAND - ABANDONED CONTROL ROOM - SWEDISH FJORD
Jeff Thunderberg sits alone in the dark, grey fjord waters visible through the windows
JEFF: [to himself] I created International Activist Rescue in a Swedish fjord to make a difference. To help people. How did it become... [looks at photo of the S.S. Thunberg with its ridiculous pennant] ...this?
Alarm sounds
COMPUTER: “ALERT: GRETA THUNDERBERG HAS PURCHASED A NEW BOAT.”
JEFF: [drops head on console] No.
COMPUTER: “NEW VESSEL DESIGNATION: S.S. THUNBERG II. ATTEMPTED LAUNCH LOCATION: NORWEGIAN FJORD. NORWAY HAS DENIED PERMISSION. ATTEMPTING DANISH FJORD. DENMARK HAS ALSO DENIED. ATTEMPTING ICELANDIC FJORD—”
JEFF: How many fjords is she trying?!
COMPUTER: “ALL OF THEM, SIR. SHE’S GOING ALPHABETICALLY. NEW ‘HOW DARE YOU’ PENNANT: 50 FEET. LED LIGHTS: RGB. QUINOA QUANTITY: 94 TONNES.”
JEFF: She DOUBLED the quinoa?!
COMPUTER: “AFFIRMATIVE. ALSO PURCHASED: 400 HEALING CRYSTALS. 94 CASES OF OAT MILK. ONE INDUSTRIAL-STRENGTH SELFIE STICK. 17-FOOT RING LIGHT.”
JEFF: [whispering] Make it stop.
COMPUTER: “CANNOT STOP, SIR. MOVEMENT IS UNSTOPPABLE. ALSO: LIAM CUNNINGHAM HAS DECLINED TO PARTICIPATE.”
JEFF: Finally! Some good news!
COMPUTER: “HE HAS BEEN REPLACED BY ANOTHER GAME OF THRONES ACTOR.”
JEFF: Who?!
COMPUTER: “CHECKING IMDB... KIT HARINGTON. JON SNOW.”
JEFF: [head on desk] Of course. Of course it’s Jon Snow.
COMPUTER: “SHALL I ALERT THE NORWEGIAN COAST GUARD?”
JEFF: Alert everyone. Alert NATO. Alert the IMO. Alert... [pauses] ...Instagram, apparently, since that’s who they listen to.
COMPUTER: “INSTAGRAM HAS BEEN NOTIFIED. THEY HAVE GIVEN THE S.S. THUNBERG II 500,000 FOLLOWERS ALREADY.”
JEFF: Without even launching?!
COMPUTER: “THE ANNOUNCEMENT POST HAD VERY GOOD ENGAGEMENT, SIR.”
In the distance, through the fjord mist, a boat with an enormous LED-lit “HOW DARE YOU” pennant can be seen attempting to leave a Norwegian fjord. Norwegian Coast Guard vessels are blocking it.
JEFF: [watching through binoculars] Is that... is that Kit Harington on deck?
COMPUTER: “AFFIRMATIVE. HE APPEARS TO BE CONFUSED ABOUT WHETHER HE’S JON SNOW OR KIT HARINGTON.”
JEFF: [long pause] They’re method actors. They’re hiring method actors who can’t tell fiction from reality.
COMPUTER: “IT APPEARS TO BE THEIR RECRUITMENT STRATEGY, SIR.”
JEFF: [watching the Norwegian Coast Guard turn the boat around] How long until she tries the Swedish fjord again?
COMPUTER: “SHE’S ALREADY FILED A PERMIT REQUEST, SIR.”
JEFF: Denied.
COMPUTER: “SHE CLAIMS THE DENIAL IS POLITICALLY MOTIVATED.”
JEFF: IT IS! It’s motivated by the politics of NOT WANTING ANOTHER INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT!
COMPUTER: “SHALL I INFORM HER OF THIS?”
JEFF: [sighs] No. She’ll just call it oppression and get more followers.
COMPUTER: “WISE ASSESSMENT, SIR. THUNDERBERGS ARE... PAUSED?”
JEFF: Thunderbergs are paused. Possibly forever. Hopefully forever.
COMPUTER: “INSTAGRAM ANALYTICS SUGGEST OTHERWISE, SIR.”
JEFF: [staring at the grey fjord] I need a new career. Maybe fisheries management. Or accounting. Something where nobody claims seagulls are Mossad agents.
COMPUTER: “UNDERSTANDABLE, SIR. THOUGH I SHOULD MENTION: GRETA HAS TAGGED YOU IN 47 POSTS ASKING YOU TO RECONSIDER.”
JEFF: Block her.
COMPUTER: “SHE’LL CALL IT CENSORSHIP.”
JEFF: I DON’T CARE! BLOCK HER! BLOCK THEM ALL! SHUT DOWN INTERNATIONAL ACTIVIST RESCUE! DRAIN THE FJORD! BURN THE BOATS! LET NOTHING REMAIN!
COMPUTER: “...SHALL I SAVE THE QUINOA, SIR?”
JEFF: [long pause] Actually... donate it. To actual aid organisations. Who understand maritime law.
COMPUTER: “WISE DECISION, SIR.”
JEFF: And the “HOW DARE YOU” pennant?
COMPUTER: “GRETA HAS COPYRIGHTED IT, SIR. WE CANNOT DESTROY IT.”
JEFF: She COPYRIGHTED a flag that doesn’t legally exist?!
COMPUTER: “TECHNICALLY IT EXISTS AS INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY, JUST NOT AS A MARITIME SIGNAL.”
JEFF: [head in hands] I give up. I surrender. Reality has defeated me.
COMPUTER: “WELCOME TO MODERN ACTIVISM, SIR.”
JEFF: [whispers] Thunderbergs are go... straight to hell.
FINAL CREDITS ROLL
Scenes showing:
The S.S. Thunberg being sold to confused fishermen
Davos/Liam Cunningham in therapy, looking at his IMDB page
Norwegian Coast Guard blocking multiple fjords
Swedish travel advisory website gaining millions of hits
Israeli Navy adding “selfie yacht protocols” to training manual
Greta holding auditions for “S.S. Thunberg II crew” (Kit Harington visible in background looking confused)
The “HOW DARE YOU” pennant being added to museums under “Objects That Caused International Incidents”
Jeff Thunderberg working at a fish and chips shop, looking peaceful
Brains opening a maritime law consultancy
Dr. Baptiste treating actual patients, smiling
The migrants finally reaching Germany
Seagulls flying over the Mediterranean, blissfully unaware they’re Mossad agents
NARRATOR: “And so, another mission for International Activist Rescue ended in complete disaster. But will that stop Greta Thunderberg and her crew of increasingly confused activists? Of course not! The ‘HOW DARE YOU’ international peace pennant (recognised by zero maritime authorities but 847,293 Instagram followers) will fly again!
Join us next time for:
‘THUNDERBERGS ARE GO II: Norwegian Fjord Fiasco’
Where the crew will learn that Norway ALSO has travel advisories! And that Kit Harington is even more confused than Liam Cunningham! And that making the pennant 50 feet with RGB lighting doesn’t make it more legitimate!
Stay tuned for more Thunderberg adventures!
Or don’t. Please don’t. For everyone’s sake.
Especially the seagulls’.”
F.A.B.
Thunderbergs © 2025 - A Gerry Anderson Parody That Wrote Itself
THE END
(But not really. The S.S. Thunberg II is already in planning. God help us all.)
DEDICATION:
For the seagulls of the Mediterranean, who were just trying to live their lives and got accused of working for Mossad.
For Sweden, which warned everyone for a decade, and nobody listened.
For Liam Cunningham, who we hope has found peace and remembered he’s an actor.
For Jeff Thunderberg, who tried to help and ended up with a selfie yacht.
And for everyone who thought quinoa could solve a geopolitical crisis.
May you all find better judgment.
DISCLAIMER:
This is a satirical work based on real events. The S.S. Thunberg (Madleen), the Gaza flotilla interception, the “selfie yacht” designation, Sweden’s response, and the crew members are all real. The Thunderbergs organisation, Thunderberg Island, Jeff Thunderberg, Brains, the complete dialogue, and the exact nature of Liam Cunningham’s existential crisis are creative interpretations.
No seagulls, quinoa, healing crystals, or Irish actors were harmed in the making of this script.
The “HOW DARE YOU” international peace pennant is still not recognised by any maritime authority anywhere, but remains very photogenic.
All claims about the flotilla, cargo, Israeli response, and Swedish government statements are based on verified news reports and official statements.
Maritime law is real and should be respected.
Seagulls are not Mossad agents.
Please read travel advisories before attempting to break naval blockades.
SHARE THIS SCRIPT
If you made it this far, you’ve read the entire “Selfie Yacht” saga.
Well done. You’re now fully informed about:
The 1,847 selfies
The 47 tonnes of quinoa
The Mossad seagulls
The “HOW DARE YOU” pennant
Liam Cunningham’s identity crisis
Sweden’s decade of warnings
The detention centre with unlocked doors
And so much more absurdity
Tags: #GretaThunberg, ##GlobalSumudFlotilla, #Sweden,# Mossad_seagulls, #Thunderbergs, @MaritimeRules, @liamcunningham1, #ModernActivism, @GerryAndersonTV #parody #@LiveFlotilla #Israel
Category: Satire, International News, Comedy, Maritime Disasters
← BACK TO 3-MINUTE VERSION
Want to share specific scenes? Each act stands alone:
Act Five: The Seagull Incident (most shareable)
Act Seven: Israeli Navy Boarding (most factual)
Act Ten: Swedish Detention (most absurd)
Post-Credits: Jeff’s Despair (most relatable)
The S.S. Thunberg II is reportedly launching from an as-yet-undisclosed fjord, with Kit Harington replacing Liam Cunningham. We’ll keep you updated. Unfortunately.
END OF COMPLETE SCRIPT.
DON’T FORGET TO SHARE LIKE CRAZY IF YOU ENJOYED THIS, AS MUCH AS I DID WRITING IT. THANK YOU!